Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Little things help ease big changes...

My friend Rian lives in the Netherlands. I have never actually met her. However, she is lots of fun to chat with, and she runs lovetilda.nl. This is my go-to source for all things Tilda. Not only does Rian have good pricing, she actually sends the things one orders promptly, safely packaged, and with reasonable shipping costs. Hence, we chat a lot. 
Not long ago, Rian began offering scrap packages of Tilda fabrics-- the left over bits from her own projects and from the workshops she has begun offering in the Netherlands.  I pounce on them like a panther when she puts them up in the web shop.
Little bunting flags
Self covered buttons
Tilda buttons!
As you may know, I really enjoy using scraps and remnant fabrics. As a child, I was allowed to raid my Aunt Rita's scrap basket for little sewing projects. This, combined with free and easy access to her button tin, set me up for a lifetime of joy when I see a pretty useable scrap or an interesting vintage button.
We have been going through some major changes around here.
The time had come for my mother to move into a long term care. As I tried and tried to care for her as she moved through the stages of Alzheimer's Disease, I began to see that the disease was going to over take us.
Our relationship was fast becoming non-existent, and a sort of battle ground around the need to eat proper meals, keep a sensible bedtime, and a hundred other details of daily living that are not an issue -- until someone can't remember how to do them any longer. When the call came that there was a room for Mom in the long term care facility we had chosen ages ago, I felt profound relief. And sadness. And fear. And, the big one -- guilt -- with a capital G.
Since the start of the new year, my days have been spent doing paper work, packing up things, and worrying about whether I was doing the right thing.
In the end, the move went well, and Mom is happy in her new digs.
In all of this to-ing and fro-ing, My creative time has been somewhat curtailed. I have missed it.
Last week, Sandra and I got together to chat and work on some projects.
I got out my Tilda scrap packages and started working on some mini bunting flags. These are going to be part of a larger project I will be presenting at the Spring 2013 CreativFestival in Toronto.
Once again, I will be demonstrating embroidery and embellishment techniques at A Needle Pulling Thread's booth at the show. I am going to be creating a wall decoration which is finished in an embroidery hoop -- a Hoop-la -- if you will. I will post a photo once I have the whole design ready for its closeup.
I also did some self-covered buttons. I was using scraps of scraps for some of these. (Tilda fabric is too precious to throw away anything more than little bits of threads!) 
As Sandra and I worked and chatted, I felt my worries about everything else going on start to melt away. I felt happier than I had in months. And suddenly, I began to see that my mom is happy where she lives. She has made friends, there are people there who care for, and about, her. And, I am able to visit with her as a friend, and not the bossy lady who makes her eat all her vegetables.
Last Sunday, my son and I visited her. There was a musician giving a concert for the residents. At one point, my son was dancing with my Mom. As I watched them, I realized, I have done all I could for her. It was time to allow other people to help me now.


  1. Hi Nancy,
    It's good to see a post from you. Wow, you have been going through quite a difficult transition. It's only natural to feel a bit guilty about moving your Mom, but in the end this is the best place for her. I'm glad you could find some peace with the idea and see her enjoying life at the home while dancing with your son. That makes for a great memory that hopefully all 3 of you will hold onto.
    Your Tilda projects are fantastic! You're right - each scrap is too precious to waste. I just got some of the Winter Memories fabric and am counting the days until the English version of the book arrives. Happy crafting!
    - Susan

  2. Oh Nancy, I can't imagine how hard your decision must have been. I really do think you made the right choice, you have to think of your own happiness and that of your family and with you stressed and trying to cope alone with your mum, you're not having the best of times and that stress gets passed on to the rest of your family. It will be lovely that you get to visit her and just be her daughter, not her carer. I know it's a life cycle - they look after us when we're little and we look after them when they're old, but I think that second leg of the relationship is a tough one, it changes your perspectives and has the potential to sully your memories. I don't know what I could say that might help ease your guilt, but I hope that the fact I care is enough. x

  3. I wish you didn't have to go through this stuff with your mom, but you're not alone, and neither is she. She's being well taken care of - it was time for this next stage for her. Still sad, but she's looking at things through a different "window", so what bothers you about circumstances, isn't bothering her.

    Shall we plan another sew-in? Actually, we should check with Miss Amanda and plan an evening ROMP!

  4. So many mixed emotions occur when going through any kind of transition but most especially one such as this. I'm so glad you were able to get her into a good long term care facility where you know she'll be well cared for.

    I just finished reading a book called "50 is the new 50"... it doesn't talk about this particular transition but about the transitions we woman are making in our 50s when deciding what we're going to do with the rest of our lives.

    Looking forward to see your "hoop-la" project.


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